Jay is mistaken for Gloria's father; Phil threatens to shoot Luke; Claire keeps an eye on Haley's new boyfriend; Mitchell and Cameron adopt a Vietnamese baby.
As he attempts to teach Luke a lesson, Phil accidentally steals a bicycle; Jay spends quality time with Manny; Cameron and Mitchell enroll Lily in a daycare center.
Jay's new model aircraft crashes into Phil's face; Cameron introduces Mitchell to the wonders of wholesale shopping; Gloria and Alex go shopping for a dress.
DeDe pays Claire and Mitchell a surprise visit in hopes of making amends for an embarrassing incident she caused at Jay and Gloria’s wedding; Phil and Claire object when Haley wants to attend a concert with Dylan.
During a family barbecue, Phil encourages Gloria and Claire to patch up their differences; at school, Manny refers to Luke as his "nephew;" Mitchell’s attempt to learn about football fails miserably.
Phil believes Claire suffers from "empty nest syndrome"; Jay and Gloria disapprove of Manny wearing a poncho to school; Mitchell accidentally tosses Lily into the ceiling.
Manny takes up fencing; an ice skating incident from Mitchell's childhood resurfaces; Phil wonders if Luke has any hidden talents.
As their anniversary approaches, Claire arranges for Phil’s favorite musician to give a private performance; Jay and Gloria hold a slumber party for their grandkids, but Haley wants to be with Dylan; Cameron and Mitchell spend an evening with their party-girl friend, Sal.
Claire and Phil attempt to throw a party for Luke, but things go horribly awry; Cameron dresses up as Fizbo the Clown; Jay gives Manny advice on how to impress a girl.
Jay bristles when Gloria and Manny’s Colombian traditions interfere with his traditional Christmas celebration; Phil threatens to end Christmas after discovering a burn mark on the couch; Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to a shopping mall to meet Santa.
When Phil suffers a kidney stone attack, Claire phones for help…and ends up flirting with the rescue team; Gloria seethes when Manny’s unreliable father pays an unexpected visit; Cameron and Mitchell attempt to sleep-train Lily.
Claire assumes Luke is to blame when she discovers a photograph of a naked woman on her computer; Jay brings home a statue of a dog dressed as a butler; Cameron and Mitchell cause confusion when the attempt to console their Spanish-speaking gardener.
Mitchell tells Jay that one of Jay’s friends is secretly gay; Claire can’t figure out how to work the remote control that operates Phil’s home theater system; Manny’s date thinks Cameron is the right guy for her.
Cameron and Jay experience an embarrassing moment in a locker room; Mitchell attempts to help Gloria after she’s involved in an automobile accident, a crash that Manny says is entirely his mother’s fault; Claire feels inadequate after she catches up with a former co-worker.
As Valentine’s Day approaches…at a comedy club, David Brenner makes fun of Jay and Gloria’s age difference; to spice things up in their marriage, Phil and Claire engage in sexual role-playing; Manny grows depressed after someone else takes credit for a Valentine’s Day message he wrote; Mitchell’s spirits sink when he’s unable to deliver a stirring speech in court.
Phil confronts his fear of the dark; Haley takes a driver’s license test; Cameron and Mitchell fear the worst when Lily says the word "mommy;" Alex thinks no one will ask her to a dance.
Claire discovers that Phil has been corresponding with an old girlfriend on Facebook; Jay accidentally kills Manny’s pet turtle; Mitchell tries to balance his priorities at work with his home life.
Phil and Claire attempt to ensure that Haley and Luke finish their class projects on time; Cameron attempts to bond with Gloria; Mitchell, Manny and Jay tease Mitchell as they gather to watch a meteor shower.
Claire attempts to buy Phil a new iPad for his birthday; Jay plays chess with Manny, unaware that Manny is skilled at the game; Cameron grows intrigued when conversations from a neighbors’ house are transmitted through Lily’s baby monitor.
When Manny and Luke’s basketball coach quits, Phil and Jay attempt to fill the position; Alex decides to ditch Claire during a shopping trip so she can hang out with her friends; Manny tells Gloria her words of affection embarrass him in front of his friends.
Frank attempts to give Claire and Phil a dog; Manny is shaken by a horror movie; Cameron becomes a drummer in Dylan’s band.
To Jay’s dismay, Gloria pays for the entire family to travel with her and Jay to Hawaii; Manny is held for questioning when his name turns up on a no-fly list at the airport; Dylan becomes trapped inside the Dunphy house.
In this continuation of the previous episode…Phil wants to turn the vacation in Hawaii into a honeymoon; Mitchell and Cameron lose Lily; Jay injures his back while trying to live a healthier lifestyle.
Claire attempts to take a perfect family portrait; Mitchell destroys the house while battling an errant pigeon; during a Lakers game, Phil reluctantly kisses Gloria for the Kiss Cam; Cameron gets a job as a wedding singer; Haley’s pimple threatens to postpone the portrait.
After deciding to sell the station wagon, Phil and his family go for one last trip down memory lane; Cameron turns to Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a princess castle for Lily; Gloria worries she'll lose Manny to his new girlfriend.
After making fun of her cooking, Jay helps Gloria in the kitchen; Haley gives Alex advice about men after Claire discovers flirty text messages on Alex's cell phone; Cameron confronts Mitchell about his dislike of public displays of affection; Gloria honors her recently deceased grandmother.
An earthquake traps Claire in the bathroom with a plumber; Mitchell and Cameron use the quake as an excuse not to attend a party being thrown by Cameron's ex-boyfriend, Pepper Saltzman; Jay goes golfing instead of attending church with Gloria and Manny.
Fearing Phil's written jokes will bomb at a banquet, Claire hides them…forcing Phil to improvise; Mitchell is horrified when Cameron begins working out in his bike shorts; Haley attempts to teach Alex how to become more popular; Gloria and Jay mistakenly end up at an engagement party instead of a quinceanera.
Phil and Claire attempt to ban electronic gadgets in the house; Jay suspects Gloria may have killed a neighbor's dog; Cameron and Mitchell panic after they realize that all of Lily's friends are in preschool.
As Claire focuses on creating a haunted house for Halloween, Phil fears his marriage is in trouble; Manny and Jay correct Gloria's accent; Mitchell feels like a fool when he shows up at work in a Halloween costume; Cameron reminisces about a traumatic Halloween incident.
At work, Jay fires an employee after Manny crashes a forklift; against Mitchell's wishes, Cameron wants Lily to appear in a commercial; Jay can't figure out which anniversary Gloria is celebrating; Phil attempts to locate a chirping smoke detector; illness keeps Claire and Haley confined to the house.
Phil and Claire compete to see who can reach Manny's birthday party first; Mitchell and Cameron are delayed at a shopping mall while trying to find a present for Manny's party; Manny grows depressed after Jay tells him he never had a chance to live the life of a normal child.
Phil thinks Haley is making a mistake when she decides to break up with Dylan; Gloria dismisses Jay's internal pains as a common stomach ache; Mitchell confronts Cameron about his mother's inappropriate touching.
Claire and Gloria clash as they help organize Luke and Manny's first school dance; tensions mount when Jay and Phil take Luke and Manny shopping; Cameron and Mitchell look for answers when Lily begins biting people.
Claire attempts to stop a sports car that speeds through the neighborhood; Jay teaches Manny how to ride a bicycle; Mitchell and Cameron have a charming new neighbor.
When Alex receives the second highest grade in her class, Claire fears that she and Phil might be holding her back; Mitchell and Cameron bump into Mitchell's ex-girlfriend; Jay is perturbed when a couple he and Gloria met while on vacation attempt to stay with them.
Haley, Alex and Luke walk in on Phil and Claire as they're having sex; Jay and Gloria's Las Vegas vacation is ruined when Gloria accidentally sends out a brutally honest email; Mitchell and Cameron discover that the mother of one of Lily's preschool friends is the owner of the hottest restaurant in town.
As Valentine's Day approaches…Phil and Claire revive their role-playing characters from the previous year's Valentine's Day; Manny convinces Hayley to send David an email ending their relationship; Cameron and Mitchell believe that Mitchell's new assistant has a crush on one of them; complications ensue when Jay hires a home chef to prepare a romantic meal for him and Gloria.
Mitchell disinvites Fizbo from Lily's princess-themed birthday party; DeDe invites Claire's old boyfriend to the Dunphy house for dinner.
Jay regrets buying Gloria a karaoke machine when her shrill singing voice fills the house; Haley tricks her parents into believing she works as a waitress; Cameron attempts to upstage Andrew by putting together a fundraising event; Phil and Claire have a big fight…but Phil has no clue what the fight was about.
Jay decides to purchase side-by-side crypts for him and Gloria; Cameron discover that Lily has Mitchell's last name; Claire attempts to find a replacement for Haley's sweater after Alex accidentally rips it.
Jay hangs out with Cameron and Mitchell during their "boy's night out;" Claire and Phil freak when Luke befriends one of their neighbors; Haley babysits Lily.
An overly-enthusiastic Cameron becomes interim music director at Manny and Luke's school; complications ensue when Phil incorporates a family photo into an advertisement for his real estate business; Jay plays practical jokes on his brother; Haley tells Phil and Claire she doesn't want to attend college.
Mitchell and Cameron attempt to find a legal guardian for Lily; Alex and Haley get into trouble at school; Claire takes Luke to a child psychologist.
On Mother's Day…Mitchell treats Cameron to breakfast in bed, making Cameron feel like Mitchell's mother; disaster ensues when Gloria and Claire take the kids hiking; while preparing dinner with Phil, Jay discovers a letter he wrote to his mother on a previous Mother's Day.
Gloria convinces Jay to help a friend develop his dog-training idea; Phil and Claire switch parenting roles; Cameron's illness might prevent Mitchell from attending a Lady Gaga concert.
Haley attempts to shape Alex's Valedictorian speech; Jay's Botox injections go horribly awry; Mitchell hurts Cameron's feelings by laughing at him when he falls into a pool; Phil wants Claire to have a meltdown so he and his cheer squad friends can go to Vegas.
The family misinterprets Jay's desire to spend his birthday relaxing; when Phil bumps into a rival from his college days, he pretends Gloria is his wife; Cameron gives Manny relationship advice; needing a birthday gift for Jay, Mitchell and Claire break into their childhood home to recreate an old photo.
The families travel to a dude ranch in Wyoming, where Dylan proposes to Haley; Mitchell and Cameron decide to adopt a baby boy from the United States; a cowboy flirts with Gloria.
Lily is unhappy with Cameron and Mitchell’s decision to adopt another child; when Manny accidentally steals a locket, Gloria tries to keep the principal from finding out; Mitchell realizes he has a problem with sharing; Phil and the kids realize that Claire is obsessed with proving she’s right about everything.
Inspired by the documentary “Man on a Wire,” Phil attempts to learn tightrope walking; Mitchell and Cam go on a juice fast; Jay grows increasingly attached to the dog; Claire attempts to teach Alex and Haley a lesson about life
Gloria and Cam go looking for Stella after the dog runs off; Gloria collects signatures in an attempt to have a stop sign erected at a neighborhood intersection; Jay gives Manny a lesson in school fundraising; after Cameron and Lily make a mess in the kitchen, Mitchell determines not to clean it up.
Claire considers running for city council; Jay feels his age when he’s forced to work with the son of a business partner; Haley gets ripped off while trying to buy fake identification; Cam and Mitchell are victims of a hit-and-run accident; Gloria feels left out of the loop as Manny and Jay deal with stressful issues.
Phil relives his collage days when he takes Haley to his alma mater; Claire joins Mitchell and Cameron for their night out; Manny tries to make himself taller.
Phil builds a treehouse for Luke; after making a bet, Cam “plays straight” to get a woman’s phone number; Manny teaches Jay how to salsa so he can hit the dance floor with Gloria.
When her neighbors lose everything in a house fire, Claire recruits the entire family to help; Phil gives Jay a massage after Jay throws out his back moving boxes; Claire grows jealous of Gloria and Mitchell’s friendship; Haley rescues Luke and Manny’s toy helicopter from some nerds; Cam proves to be surprisingly adept behind the wheel of a moving truck.
As Thanksgiving approaches…a wealthy former neighbor says he made it big by emulating Phil; Phil thinks he never made it big because Claire shoots down his ideas; Mitchell has a hard time swallowing Cam’s “punkin chuckin’” story; Manny constructs an ugly Thanksgiving centerpiece.
When a series of miscommunications prevents everyone from spending a traditional Christmas together, Phil proposes that the families find a tree, go gift shopping and cook dinner on December 16th.
After Jay takes a physical exam, his doctor phones with the results…but Jay misses the call and fears the worst; when Mitchell receives a prestigious award, Cam pulls his old fishing trophy out of storage; Manny finds himself trapped between two dads when he goes to the race track with Jay and Manny’s smooth-talking father, Javier.
Manny and Luke are assigned a science project involving dropping an egg from a one-story building; Cameron and Mitchell meet with a prospective birth mother; Phil gives a disastrous presentation to potential clients.
Mitchell and Cameron confront Lily’s habit of saying “the f-word;” the family preps Claire for a debate after voters find her unlikeable; Jay is convinced that Stella has become suicidal.
Cam grows jealous of Gloria’s bond with Lily; Claire freaks after being kissed on the lips by a real estate tycoon Phil is pursuing; Manny invents a fictional friend to help work out family conflicts; Jay discovers that Mitch is representing his talk-radio idol.
After Cam and Mitchell’s adoption plans stall, Claire volunteers to donate one of her eggs so they can raise a surrogate baby; Jay thinks Manny should be playing football instead of collecting lucky pennies; Phil sells a house to Cam and Mitch’s friends.
Alex accidentally tells Phil that Haley had sex with Dylan; Mitch follows his father to a golf course; Manny attempts to impress a girl using Cam’s car; Cam searches for Tupperware he thinks Claire stole from him; Claire tells Gloria she’s been going to a shooting range; Luke and Manny set a “cookie trap” for Lily.
Mitchell decides to throw a birthday party cruise for Cameron, whose birthday falls on Leap Day; Phil’s plans to attend a trapeze class are scuttled when Claire, Haley and Alex have their periods on the same day; Gloria questions Jay’s masculinity.
Cameron resurrects his clown character Fizbo when he’s reunited with his ex-clown partner; Phil’s attempt to snag an important listing pits him against a notoriously ruthless real estate agent; Jay and Gloria help Manny make a new friend, only to discover the boy is interested in Gloria’s chest; Claire attempt to get Alex and Haley to “friend” her on Facebook.
Claire enlists her family to ensure she’s elected to the city counsel; Phil tries to drive senior citizens to the polls, only to get waylaid by neighbor Mr. Kleezak; Mitchell and Cameron use the public address system on their car to boss people around; Jay finds it hard to vote for Claire because a woman he dumped after his divorce is working the polls.
Phil and Claire worry about Luke after a neighbor he’d grown close to passes away; Claire doesn’t realize that she makes a creepy smile whenever she tells someone about a person’s death; Manny chaperone’s Haley’s’ party; Phil wants to fix his relationship with Alex.
Claire goes wild with Phil’s new sports car; Phil eavesdrops on the kids’ conversations while driving Claire’s minivan; Cameron and Mitch attempt to find Lily’s stuffed bunny after it disappears on a subway train; Jay wants to impress his buddies at a reunion, but things do awry when Gloria refuses to board a plane.
The Pritchetts and Dunphys head for Disneyland; Claire arranges for a friend’s nephew to join the group as a potential beau for Haley; Dylan makes a surprise appearance; Jay puts Lily in high-heeled shoes to keep her from running off; despite warnings from Jay, Gloria wears high-heeled shoes to the theme park.
Alex is assigned to recreate a famous painting using live people and props; Manny is upset with Luke because he won a medal for putting out a fire he started; Claire is annoyed with Cam for trying to discipline Lily without using the word “no;” Phil can’t bring himself to fire Mitchell after he’s hired to do legal work for the real estate agency.
Mitch and Cam’s adoption falls through in a plotline reminiscent of Gloria’s favorite telenovela; Alex’s prom date turns out to be gay; Haley plans to skip the school prom and move in with Dylan; Luke’s been hoarding the family’s mail; Jay and Manny are put in charge of bringing Lily to her first dance recital.
On his birthday, Jay is kidnapped by his friends and taken on a fishing trip; Gloria struggles to tell Jay that she's pregnant; Manny fears the new baby will affect his and Jay's relationship; Cam and Mitch attempt to adopt a cat; Haley asks Claire if Dylan can stay with the family.
Phil considers undergoing a vasectomy; Gloria has trouble adjusting to weight gain from her pregnancy; Mitchell wants Cam to find a part-time job.
Phil and Claire take Haley to college; Jay and Gloria attend a child-rearing class; Lily ends up in the principal's office on her first day of kindergarten.
Gloria's snoring drives Jay crazy; Mitch attempts to take care of Lily now that Cam has a job; Phil worries that he's losing touch with Luke after he loses interest in magic; Claire notices a change in Alex now that Haley is at college.
Phil stages an open house on Halloween; complications ensue when Cam and Mitch throw a costume party; Gloria's pregnancy causes her temper to flair; Claire attempts to stage a "kid friendly" Halloween; Manny accidentally sets off a fire alarm at school.
Jay and Gloria stage a yard sale to help raise money for Luke and Manny's school drive; Cam wants to get rid of his "fat pants;" Claire thinks Alex's boyfriend is gay; Phil takes his old motorcycle out for a drive.
Haley gets arrested for consuming alcohol; Cam accidentally triggers Luke's soy allergy; Jay receives a surprise visit from DeDe.
Complications ensue when Phil unwittingly attracts the affections of a gay man; Alex competes in an academic decathlon; Cam and Mitch have to distract Gloria and Jay so they can present them with a surprise gift for the baby.
Mitch and Cam attempt to keep an old tree from being cut down; Jay and Phil accompany Luke and Manny to a children's party; Claire and Gloria are arrested for theft at a grocery store; Hayley performs community service.
After transforming an empty lot into a baseball field, Cameron and Claire decide to flip a house; Jay begins to lose his mind when Gloria attempts to reach out to the baby by singing.
Jay takes the family to a fancy Palm Springs hotel to celebrate New Year's Eve--only to discover that the hotel has gone downhill; Mitch and Cam attempt to relive their youth by sneaking off to a bar; Phil and Claire sneak off to a hot spring, only to discover it's used for nude bathing.
Jay and Gloria organize a surprise birthday party for Manny; Manny and his girlfriend share a kiss, unaware that the entire family is watching them; Haley begins dating an older man; Cam grows jealous when Lily asks Mitch to marry her.
A culture clash ensues when Gloria's mother interferes with the baby's christening; Cam and Mitch attempt to quell Lily's sarcasm.
Cam wants Luke to play the lead in a school production of "The Phantom of the Opera"—but Manny want the role for himself; Jay teaches Phil how to golf; Alex accompanies Gloria to a psychic.
As Valentine's Day approaches…Jay and Gloria's romantic plans are interrupted by the kids; Cam and Mitch invite their single friends to a Lonely Hearts party; Phil and Claire revive their alter egos, Clive Bixby and Juliana, but their plans to spend a night in a hotel land them in a hospital.
Phil shows up unexpectedly at Claire's college reunion; Cam and Mitch are forced to cut Joe's hair when a "wig malfunction" occurs during one of Cam's photo shoots.
Sal asks Cam and Mitch to be her "best men" when she decides to marry a man she's only known for three months; Manny falls for Joe's new nanny; Claire and Haley make plans to have dinner, but Haley ends up ditching her mother.
Mitch attempts to teach a bully a lesson; Cam and Claire disagree on how to renovate a house they're trying to flip; while giving the girls a lesson in home improvement, Phil accidentally breaks the hot water heater; Jay and Joe go to the movies with one of Claire's friends.
Cam and Claire's house-flipping hits a snag when they can't find a buyer; Gloria's ex-husband introduces the family to his new fiancée, who forms a close bond with Manny.
As Claire undergoes a health checkup, she and Phil encounter an older version of the family; Jay accompanies Manny to an interview at a private high school; Mitch and Cam turn to Gloria for help when Lily broaches a subject that women are best versed in.
Phil finds himself upstaged during Luke and Manny's Career Day event at school; Gloria encourages Jay to write a literary thriller; Mitch and Cam accidentally hide a $100 bill under Lily's pillow after she loses her first tooth.
Manny and Luke must write an essay about a family member who's a hero to them; Jay offers Claire a job at his company; Cam grows uncomfortable when Mitch's ex-boyfriend invites the family to attend a fundraiser at a roller rink; Haley gives Alex some tips on how to flirt with boys; Phil gives Gloria skating lessons.
The family flies to Florida after Phil's mother passes away; Phil discovers that his mother left instructions for him to find his father a companion after she passed away; Gloria discovers she's wanted on an outstanding arrest warrant; Mitchell represents Gloria in court; Cam hangs out with members of a retirement community.
While searching for Manny's backpack, Jay and Gloria discover they weren't invited to "games night" and Cam and Mitchell's place; Phil buys an RV; Lily participates in a gymnastics competition.
Cam and Mitchell are reveling in the news that the Supreme Court has legalized gay marriage in California. This causes everyone to wonder if this means that they will soon be walking down the aisle themselves. Cam makes a snap decision to propose to Mitchell that evening, but unbeknownst to him Mitchell has the same idea – and it’s a race to the proposal!
Manny is leaving for a month to visit family in Columbia, and Gloria is a wreck. While she and Manny both have the jitters, Jay is determined to make it work because if Manny doesn’t go to Columbia, Columbia will come to him! Meanwhile, Claire is at her wits' end when only a few days in to the kid’s summer vacation, everybody is at each other's throats. She resolves to synchronize the kid’s summer activities with the hope of having the house to themselves for an entire week, and enlists Phil's help to make it happen.
It’s Claire’s first day of work at her dad’s company and she wants to make a good impression. Jay takes one look at the plate of cookies she’s brought in and immediately tells her that it reeks of desperation - as management, she needs to keep her distance and command respect. Claire has a different management style, but quickly finds that her dad may have a point.
Luke and Manny are also battling nerves on their first day of high school. But it may be Phil and Gloria who are taking it the hardest when the boys both shrug off their parents hugs and kisses at drop off. Phil and Gloria commiserate over a cup of coffee and are grateful for the distraction when they are asked to be extras in a commercial. Meanwhile, Mitchell is struggling at work due to his boss Charlie’s constant absences. He has only one hour between Charlie’s vacations to meet with him, and it's interrupted by a visit from Haley.
Gloria is worried about her son’s soul after he is banned for life from Gymboree due to his repeated aggressive actions toward other kids. She is convinced that Joe has the mark of the devil passed down from her great-great grandfather, who was given great riches in exchange his soul. Jay assures her that Joe is perfectly normal and that there is no such thing as a curse, but Gloria calls in reinforcements – just in case.
Meanwhile, Cam has completely immersed himself in plans for the wedding. Mitchell has graciously bowed out of the process in order keep them from quibbling over every detail, but his controlling nature and Cam’s tendency to go overboard eventually come to a head. Lily’s cat goes missing and is feared dead, but rather than explaining death to Lily, Cam comes up with a convoluted story as to why Larry went away... which, of course, backfires. And Phil has tapped into a rich vein of new clients: recently divorced moms. Unfortunately, these needy, vulnerable women demand a lot of Phil’s time, causing him to neglect his own wife and kids at home.
Cam’s big sister Pam is visiting, and Cam is worried about how she’ll take the news of his upcoming wedding. He explains that she’s emotionally fragile (not to mention single and childless) and will cause a huge scene when she finds out Cam is beating her to the altar. But the tables are turned when Pam upstages Cam with a big announcement of her own and accuses him of being the sensitive one in the family when he doesn’t take it well.
Gloria needs glasses, but her vanity won’t allow her to accept this. Jay decides to pull a prank on her in order to scare her into getting glasses, but it backfires when she points out Jay’s own health failings. Meanwhile, Claire convinces Phil that it’s ok for them to skip one of Luke’s endless volleyball tournaments, especially since he spends most of the time on the bench. Phil doesn’t feel right about it, but when Claire mentions that he’ll be able to use his new robot gutter cleaner, he’s in. But guilt soon sets in, and they both feel terrible when it turns out that they may have missed something after all.
Jay pulled a lot of strings to get reservations at the hottest new restaurant for a family adults' night out. Unfortunately, in each household everyone is running late - Gloria is taking forever to get ready per usual, Claire and Phil get in a tiff about letting Luke stay home alone, and Mitch and Cam end up putting on the same outfit.
When Gloria hires a too-good-to-be-true male nanny, Jay and Manny are pretty much dead set against it. Frank is in town and feeling a bit lonely recently, so Phil and Jay take him out to help get his groove back. And, Mitch and Cam commission Pepper to plan their dream wedding, but Pepper might be dreaming a little too big.
The family attends the annual school fair and Phil has a big 20th wedding anniversary surprise planned for Claire at the fairgrounds, but unfortunately, she simultaneously has a surprise for him back at home. Gloria signs Jay up to be a fair cop for the day and it gets worse when he's partnered up with his nemesis. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam and Lily try to enjoy the fair, but Cam is in a funk from the football team's recent losing streak, and Haley has an awkward first encounter with Andy.
With some urging from Claire, Jay begrudgingly agrees to return to ClosetCon this year, and things get interesting when Jay is reunited with some old colleagues. Cam takes Mitch and Lily to the Tucker family farm for the first time and is excited to fold them into country life - that is, until Grams pays an unexpected visit. And back at home, Phil, Gloria and the kids get into some mischief involving Jay's very delicate Apollo 13 spacecraft model.
It’s the last game of the football season, and a superstitious Cam is following all of his pre-game rituals to ensure that he becomes the first rookie coach in the school’s history to win more than two games. The Dolphins are fired up and the odds of a win are in their favor seeing as how their opponents haven’t won a game all season. But as they take the field, Cam learns that the opposing team lost their coach the night before and are playing the game in his honor, causing some of the players to question whether or not they should throw the game.
Meanwhile, Claire continues to struggle at work, wanting to be seen as a colleague and not the boss’s daughter. And a disastrous mishap in the warehouse only adds to her flagging confidence. Mitchell is having his own work related problem as he attempts to find the right moment to tell Charlie that he’s accepted another job. He’s been thwarted at every turn, and today is no exception as Charlie is an emotional wreck after being dumped by his girlfriend. Phil is intent on remaining positive even though he is facing his first month ever without a sale. And Gloria’s advice to Lily on making boys notice her has unintended results.
Jay takes Manny out to cut down their own Christmas tree, and Gloria is on edge with mom in town, but changes her tune when she sees her bonding with Claire. Elsewhere, Mitchell is forced to do last minute shopping when they didn't get Lily the right gift, and Cameron takes Lily to a charity event where they experience the true meaning of Christmas.
Phil tricks Luke into taking a dance class, but the joke's on him when the white lie indirectly lands him in the slammer. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria are throwing birthday parties for both Manny and Joe and are concerned Manny might be going for girls out of his league. And Mitch and Cam get a rude awakening in the cutthroat world of booking a wedding venue.
The high school open house puts the parents in a bit of a time warp when Claire finds herself stressed out by all the pressure, Gloria encounters a "mean girl" mom and Jay teaches Phil how to play a little hookie. Elsewhere, Mitchell gets defensive when he encounters his judgmental, environmentalist neighbor, and Alex goes to see a therapist.
Phil and Claire take Haley out to dinner to discuss her future, but Haley manages to turn the tables. Elsewhere, Jay's friend Shorty and wife Darlene are back visiting, and they have some news that doesn't sit well with Jay. And Mitch and Cam decide to have a nice, romantic dinner date where they don't talk about the wedding or about Lily, which then leads to a lot of awkward silences.
It seems that everyone in the family’s got a secret. Haley has a college photography exhibit that she’s being particularly evasive about, and Claire enlists Alex’s help to find out what she’s hiding. Luke and Manny are spending time with a boy who may be a bad influence, forcing Claire to track the boys electronically – which makes Phil uncomfortable. Mitchell becomes privy to some juicy gossip, but is sworn to secrecy, infuriating Cam; and Jay and Gloria are engaged in a fight, but each thinks it’s for a different reason.
Phil’s old nemesis, Gil Thorpe, strikes again when he unseats Phil as the social chair of their local realtors' association. It turns out that Jay also has a beef with Gil’s dad, who always seems to see him at his worst. The multi-generational feud comes to a head at Luke’s wrestling match when he’s pitted against none other than Gil’s son. Meanwhile, an outbreak of lice at Lily’s school brings out the worst in everyone, and Hayley and Alex find an unwelcome visitor in their basement.
Phil excitedly plans for the annual Realtor’s banquet where he is serving as host for an unprecedented third time! Claire is unable to attend and Haley steps in to be his date, giving father and daughter a chance to bond. Mitch is starting his first day at a legal aid society founded by a law school friend, but worries that his overachieving boss may be a bit too intense and demanding. Meanwhile, Cam is helming the Spring-A-Ding-Fling, which under his guidance has raised more money than ever before, but a surprise guest threatens to steal his thunder.
All the adults have swapped kids for the day. Claire and Gloria have been tasked with finding Lily the perfect flower girl dress, but it soon becomes evident that the only one interested in shopping is Gloria. Mitch and Cam take Luke and Alex to an art exhibit where Cam worries about feeling ignorant compared to the cultured trio. And Jay gives Luke a lesson in woodworking, while Phil helps Joe’s Nanny make a video love letter for his girlfriend in the Coast Guard.
The adults are Vegas bound when Jay hooks them up with “Excelsior Level” hotel accommodations courtesy of one of his big clients, but after learning there's an even higher level, Jay becomes obsessed with upgrading. Meanwhile, everyone's sneaking around when Claire secretly hits the tables to win back money she lost years ago, Phil goes underground auditioning for a secret society of magicians, Cam ducks out of a spa day with Mitch to join their friend's bachelor party shenanigans, and Gloria is determined to hide a female version of dog butler Barkley from Jay.
Mitch and Cam reach an impasse over a hand carved cake topper from Cam’s dad featuring a manly Cam being gazed upon by an effete-looking Mitch. As Phil helps Gloria sell her old condo, she begins to reminisce, and realizes that she misses certain aspects of her old life. And Claire has an incredible week at work, handling numerous crises and making executive decisions, but feels slighted by Jay’s reaction to all of her hard work.
The entire family tags along as Phil fulfills his mom's wish for him to return to his roots and visit the country where he was conceived, Australia. Unfortunately, Phil's attempts to embrace his native land are met by a lot of rejection, while Jay and Claire let work eat into vacation time, and Mitch and Cam get reacquainted with an old friend they can't stand but is now a big-time celebrity in Australia.
Phil fails at his one task to stay home and wait for the repairman, forcing him to tell an elaborate lie to hide the truth from Claire, but the stress is more than he can physically handle. Meanwhile, Gloria is obsessing over the family portrait she is responsible for organizing this year. Claire accuses Cam of being too snobby to use her girls' hand-me-downs and Jay secretly enters Stella in a dog show.
Jay, Gloria and Manny challenge each other to step outside their comfort zone and try something new. Mitch and Cam's wedding is getting too big and costly so they resort to selling a couple of their prized possessions, and the kids play a joke on Phil and Claire.
Mitch and Cam's big day is finally here and nothing can ruin it, until nothing turns into a whole lot of somethings and puts wedding planner extraordinaire Pepper Saltzman to the test. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria host the Tuckers, Phil squeezes in an eye procedure before the festivities and Claire embraces her role as "best woman."
The wedding day chaos continues as the entire party shifts from one contingency plan to another. Guests start to get testy, Mitchell and Cameron are feeling discouraged and poor Claire shows physical wear and tear, but an unexpected turn of events leads to the ceremony they’ve all been waiting for.
The summer has been exceptionally blissful in the Dunphy house: Alex is away on a humanitarian trip and the rest of the family is getting along swimmingly, but when Alex comes home, there is an immediate shift in mood. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam have returned from their honeymoon and Mitch is acclimating to real life much quicker than the still lovey-dovey Cameron. Meanwhile, Gloria has taken issue with how little effort Jay puts into his appearance and decides to give him a taste of his own medicine.
The Dunphy clan is off to visit the Caltech campus, which Claire thinks is perfect for Alex as it is one of the most prestigious schools in the country... and also happens to be only 45 minutes from home! But Alex may have something else in mind. Meanwhile, Lily decides that it’s time for a new family portrait, seeing as how she’s not in the one that currently hangs over the mantel – though it appears that someone is not as photogenic as they think. And Jay agonizes over whether or not Gloria will appreciate his anniversary gift.
It seems that Mitch caught a cold on his honeymoon and it’s been working its way through the family. As Phil is editing Mitch and Cam’s wedding video, he discovers the identity of patient zero and will stop at nothing to make sure that no one finds out the truth! Meanwhile, Manny’s feeling the pressure to perform after missing his last few field goals, and Cam worries that he may have to bench him but fears suffering the wrath of Jay and Gloria. And Mitch hosts a disastrous play-date with Lily’s overachieving friend, Sydney.
The Dunphys move into a cramped hotel room while their house is getting treated for mold and Phil sees this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together, but Claire and the kids are less than enthused. Gloria becomes overprotective when Manny starts dating an older, popular girl. And Cam is under a lot of pressure to maintain his team's winning streak, but when he realizes Mitchell may be a jinx, emotions run high.
Phil is selling the house next door and he and Claire are excited by the prospect of having wonderful new neighbors, but that quickly turns into panic when a loud and obnoxious couple comes to look at the house. Jay forbids Manny to see his new girlfriend when he realizes she's the granddaughter of his biggest business rival, leading to a clash of the closet titans. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam are determined to switch Lily out of Mrs. Plank's class since she is known to rule with an iron fist - not to mention she scares them too.
Even though Halloween is Claire's holiday, she allows Phil to take over this year so instead of her usual fright-fest theme, he decides to turn the house into AwesomeLand! Gloria picks out Princess Fiona and Shrek costumes for her and Jay, but Jay decides he wants to be Prince Charming complete with a full head of gorgeous hair, and with the hair comes a new sense of confidence. Elsewhere, Cam becomes overwhelmed by the day's activities and Mitchell has closing arguments for a huge case, and it doesn't help that the stenographer is dressed like a spider.
Phil and Claire don't know if they should be happy or concerned that Haley and Andy are spending a lot of time together; however, they soon find things are not what they appear. Gloria is pushing Manny to learn Spanish instead of French, so she goes ahead and hires a Spanish tutor, Diego, who also happens to be very handsome - much to Manny and Jay's chagrin. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam meet a popular news reporter and one of them piques her journalistic interest.
Phil is cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year with Luke as his sous chef, but Claire has no confidence in them and prepares a secret turkey of her own as backup. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria had plans to spend the holiday away, but when the trip gets canceled at the last minute, they decide not to tell anyone. This quickly becomes problematic when the family dinner suddenly gets moved to their house, and it turns into a mad scramble to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Mitch is tired of always being the bad cop, so when Lily refuses to wear a nice dress to dinner, he forces Cam to deal with it who then comes up with a very unconventional approach.
When Alex tells Phil and Claire that she has a serious boyfriend that no one in the family has ever seen or actually spoken to, they worry she’s made him up. Jay and Gloria both have parties that they are dragging the other to and Jay has a clever plan to get himself out of it, but Manny just might spoil everything. Mitch and Cam just got a beautiful white sofa delivered, so when Mitch begrudgingly offers to let Brenda, a distressed co-worker, stay the night, it's a mishap waiting to happen.
It’s Hayley’s 21st birthday, and Claire, who is determined to treat her like an adult, takes Hayley to a bar along with Gloria, Mitch and Cam. Meanwhile, Phil is out buying Haley’s birthday present – a new car! Only Jay doesn’t think he can handle the negotiations alone and insists on tagging along, and things quickly go awry. Meanwhile, Lily is on mission to find out where babies come from.
While driving out to get breakfast, the Dunphys, including Manny, have a near-death experience, which causes everyone to reevaluate their lives. Claire resolves to be more fun and less uptight, Haley and Alex agree not to fight anymore, Manny refuses to ever ride in a car again, Luke wants to check some items off his bucket list, Phil decides to be a take-action type of guy – and the rest of the family has to bear the brunt of all their new attitudes and resolutions.
Claire is furious about neighbors Ronnie and Amber's eyesore of a boat on their front lawn, and it soon becomes an all-out war when Phil calls in the "big guns" - his father, Frank, and all his retired friends - as backup, to give them a taste of their own medicine. Elsewhere, Jay is trying to potty train Joe, but Gloria does not think he's ready yet, and Cam secretly takes Lily to clown school behind Mitchell's back.
Phil is starting to feel the teenage cold shoulder from Luke, and with Andy hanging around a lot recently as his apprentice, he easily steps in as his new right hand man. Mitchell is doing some freelance legal work at Jay's closet company and working with Claire becomes a very enlightening experience for the both of them. Meanwhile, Gloria and the doctors suspect that Joe might be allergic to Stella, which leaves Jay in a very tough predicament.
It’s Valentine's Day, which means the return of "Juliana" and "Clive." However, things get worrisome when Claire begins to sense that Phil may be more interested in Juliana than in her! Elsewhere, Jay goes from feeling disappointed to feeling scared when Gloria's visiting sister, Sonia, becomes a larger deterrent to a romantic evening with Gloria than he expected. And Mitchell and Cameron get themselves into a very precarious situation with their good friend Anders.
After a long reunion weekend with Phil’s old cheer buddies, Claire jumps at the chance to snag the only first class seat left on the return flight home, leaving Phil in coach, and both have completely opposite experiences. Meanwhile, Mitch, Cam, Pepper and the whole gang throw Sal a belated baby shower and they are all blown away by how motherhood has changed her... but has it really? And Gloria forces Jay to teach Manny how to defend himself against a bully in his cooking class, but when things backfire it seems that the real bully might be someone else entirely.
Claire's computer becomes the hub of all the family's activities when she gets stuck at the airport and is desperate to reach Haley after a big fight. After “facetiming” with Phil and the rest of the family to help track her down, Claire quickly turns to online snooping. Everyone gets sucked into the online drama as the mounting clues point to Haley having done something very impulsive and life-changing.
Jay and Claire scramble to shoot a Pritchett Closets commercial in response to their competitor’s new and catchy ad, but there might be some creative differences between father and daughter. A Peeping Tom in the neighborhood keeps using a drone to spy on Gloria sunbathing, so Phil, Luke and Manny make it their mission to take it down. Elsewhere, a tone-deaf Lily prepares to perform in her school talent show and Cameron is more worried about it than she is, and Haley’s feelings for Andy become even more complicated when he gets rushed to the hospital with appendicitis.
Spring break has Claire doing some spring cleaning, while Phil struggles with not being a spring chicken anymore, exemplified by the fact that Luke now outperforms him at seemingly everything. Haley takes Alex to a music festival to take her mind off of colleges, and Gloria and Jay challenge one another to give up Spanish soap operas and cigars respectively. However, when Gloria accompanies Cameron to his faculty talent show, she projects the soapy drama she craves onto Cam's rivalry with Señor Kaplan, and Jay tags along with Mitchell to pick up Lily from camp so he can sneak a smoke.
Jay's birthday brings everyone together and Phil is quite pleased with himself for choosing a super cool gift for Jay: a high-tech outdoor grill. Claire and Mitch decide they will "offer" to pay back the money Jay loaned them ages ago as their gift, not really expecting he will take them up on it. And Gloria teaches Manny and Luke a lesson about drinking, while things get really awkward between Adam and Haley when she brings over her new doctor boyfriend.
Jay agrees to sub in on Cam's bowling team for the finals, but Cam was not fully upfront about it being an all-gay league, which puts Jay in a precarious position. Phil and Claire have a surprisingly good time with unlikely dinner companions, their neighbors Ronnie and Amber. And Gloria and Mitch agree to go clubbing with Haley to prove they're still young and fun, but they didn't anticipate the pre-party portion of the night.
Phil and Jay run an errand together to pick up Lily's hand-me-down princess castle for Joe. Both, though, are in a mood because Phil is upset that Claire won't let him buy a videogame console, and Jay thinks Gloria is letting Joe play with too many girlie items. Mitch and Cam babysit Joe and both get the itch for another baby - that is, until Joe presents to be quite the handful! Meanwhile, Gloria tries to help Haley stand up for herself at work, and Claire tries to bribe Luke's principalto give him one of the student awards.
Alex's worst nightmare is realized when she gets news that she has to share the Valedictorian title with her number one competitor, Sanjay! Both sets of parents get equally caught up in the rivalry and convince Principal Brown to let them break the tie via a gym requirement they both have not completed - a one mile run. Elsewhere, Gloria is studying for her upcoming U.S. citizenship test, and a visit from Javier throws her off her game. And Mitch and Cam agree to join a protest against a local restaurant that they are actually secretly excited about.
The family is determined to make Alex celebrate her senior ditch day and Phil, Luke and Haley forcefully take her out but end up at an unexpected detour. Claire is torn when she gets a job offer from a big hotel chain, but her anxiety quickly gets replaced with confusion when she can't tell whether or not Jay really cares if she stays or goes. And with Manny groggy due to painkillers from his wisdom teeth procedure, Gloria seizes the opportunity to put a plan into effect to break up Manny and his new girlfriend.
The whole family is at Jay and Gloria's for Alex's graduation party, except for Phil, who has ingeniously figured out a way to be there via Skype and a robotic vessel after being unexpectedly detained in Seattle on a business trip. During the celebration, Jay frets about Gloria's cousin who has overstayed his welcome; Claire stresses out about giving Alex the perfect gift; Mitch hides news of being laid off from Cam; and Andy's girlfriend, Beth, is in town creating a lot tension with Haley, which finally leads to a realization that may have come too late.
Haley's attempt to stop Andy from proposing to Beth will end up with both Haley and Andy needing to cope with their emotions and both will have their own special ways of doing so, and Phil and Claire seem to only make matters worse. Jay and Gloria look at pre-schools for Joe, and get a rude awakening after they realize the competitive wait list to get in. Meanwhile, Cam tries to remain supportive of Mitch's midlife career crisis, but money is getting a little tight, so Cam comes up with a scheme to get Mitch's old job back.
Phil and Claire are feeling a little snubbed by their kids when Alex intentionally gives them the wrong college move in date to avoid making it a big deal, and Luke seems less than eager to spend the day with Phil at his open house and would rather go hang out with some guys from school. Elsewhere, the rest of the family concocts an elaborate story to get out of going to Lily's soccer game which only adds to the stress Mitch and Cam are feeling now that they've added landlords to their resume after deciding to rent out their top unit for short term stays.
An out of work Mitchell finds himself in a tough spot when he’s offered a much needed job representing Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets! – which is of course owned by Jay’s arch enemy. Wanting to be the cool dad, Phil allows Dylan to move into the basement with Hayley temporarily, but quickly realizes that it was a mistake. Meanwhile, Gloria is determined to spare Manny’s feelings when he’s snubbed by a cheerleader. And when Alex has boy trouble, she gets support from an unlikely source.
Much to everyone’s chagrin, Phil has become obsessed with the three orphan duck eggs he’s been incubating at home. Claire is worried about the closet designs she’s pitching to her dad and the pretentious creative team. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam are renting their upper unit to some frat boys from Cam’s alma mater, and Mitch doesn’t like how they’re bringing out Cam’s macho side. And, Gloria attempts to build Manny’s confidence when it comes to talking to girls.
Gloria has been summoned for jury duty, but her over eagerness to take part in a trial may just prevent her from performing her civic duty. While Jay fills in for Gloria at Joe’s preschool, Claire gets to be in charge at the office. As it’s also bring your daughter to work day, Claire drags Haley and Alex along hoping to show them her powerful working woman side, but things don’t go quite as planned. Meanwhile, Phil finds a teachable moment with Luke and Manny as they complete their community service hours.
Luke is arrested for driving without a license and Phil is furious, but Claire is actually relieved to see Luke show some rebelliousness, which Phil takes as sign that she thinks Luke’s too much like him. Meanwhile, Cam has no luck selling his family’s famous barbecue sauce at the farmer’s market and takes it out on Gloria when she presents her late aunt’s own version – which is far superior. Mitch struggles with whether or not to accept a job offer from his smug friend Simon. Jay is being given a Titans of Industry award from the Chamber of Commerce and quickly becomes obsessed with making a video of “what drives him” for the ceremony. And things between Haley and Andy continue to be awkward.
Phil’s got a new hot listing – a sexy house with all the bells and whistles that proves to be irresistible to everyone in the family. First it’s Haley who wants to experience the 16-jet tub herself, but is caught in the act by Andy who’s prepping the open house, and the two fight to keep from falling under the spell of the house. And hoping to inject some romance into their lives, Cam and Mitch also pay the sexy house a visit, but find their night constantly interrupted by others with the same idea. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay are planning a surprise for the family, forcing Gloria to utilize some of the old tricks she learned in Colombia.
When Gloria accidentally bids on a session with a self-help author at a school auction, she and the family get more than they bargained for when Dr. Debra implores them to “clean out their emotional junk drawer.” But the session soon devolves into a competition between Mitch and Cam and Claire and Phil as they battle to be the “best married couple,” while Jay steadfastly refuses to explore his emotional side, infuriating Gloria. Meanwhile, Hayley seeks out Alex for advice on how to deal with the situation with Andy, and Alex reveals her shameful affair with Reuben. They both know what they need to do, but will they actually follow through... ?
In hopes of the perfect white Christmas she never had in Columbia, Gloria rents a cabin in the mountains for the whole family, including Andy, to celebrate the Christmas holiday. Unfortunately when they get there, it’s anything but; with unseasonably hot weather and a random unwelcomed guest, the family is in for an interesting holiday celebration!
Claire and Phil have dinner plans with this great couple they met on vacation; the only problem is they never pick up the check and Claire is intent on making them pay this time. Gloria organizes a family playdate with a preschool friend of Joe’s. She’s excited as the boy’s mother tells Gloria that Jay will have a lot in common with her husband – who turns out to be in his eighties, to Jay’s dismay. Meanwhile, Haley, Alex and Luke are surprised when Uncle Mitchell comes over to cash in on the birthday coupon they gave him for a belated celebration, forcing them to scramble for an activity and end up on an impromptu tour of celebrity homes.
Sick of having the ducklings around the house, Claire and the kids seize an opportunity to help expedite the ducks leaving the nest while Phil is off visiting Alex at college. Meanwhile, Jay helps Mitch chaperone Lily's sleepover with her friends from her Vietnamese dance troupe. And Gloria and Cam are off on a hot pepper heist carefully orchestrated by Manny in order to meet a big hot sauce delivery deadline.
With big changes afoot - Claire starts running the closet company on Monday – she decides that it’s time for some spring cleaning, to everyone’s dismay. Knowing she’ll have less time on her hands, she wants the home to be as organized and uncluttered as possible, and expects everyone to throw out unneeded items. With Jay finally retiring, he’s decided to take on a dangerous new hobby, and hides it from Gloria. And Mitchell doesn’t understand why Lily is so bad at playing the flute, considering he’s her teacher, until he attempts to teach Gloria how to golf.
Now that Claire has been running the closet business for a while, she and Phil have fallen into a new rhythm, with Claire assuming the role of the wheeling and dealing breadwinner and Phil as the invisible housewife, but Phil will not stand for being ignored and underappreciated for long. Meanwhile, Jay lets his jealousy get the best of him when a life-size cutout of Gloria for her grocery store hot sauce display garners plenty of unsavory attention from men. And Cam and Mitch are being extra hospitable to get better reviews for their rental property, but when the new renters start acting undeniably suspicious, they can't help but snoop.
A huge thunderstorm brings city-wide power outages, and the whole family congregates at Jay and Gloria's to use their generator, but Jay has one foot out the door, desperate to make it to a reunion with some old Navy buddies. Meanwhile, Phil tries to be the hero and redeem himself after an embarrassing public panic attack earlier, but only causes more headaches for everyone. Mitch and Cam grasp at straws trying to salvage Lily's birthday party where the most popular girl at school is in attendance. And Haley turns up the seduction efforts with Andy.
Claire has somehow turned into super mom, running Jay’s closet business, and yet still has time for all her duties at home. The kids could not be happier, but Phil could not be more frustrated. Unbeknownst to him, Claire has a secret weapon. Meanwhile, Joe is going through a fussy phase, and Jay and Gloria are beyond sleep deprived, so they both cut some corners that they know the other will not like and go to great lengths not to get caught. And Mitch and Cam are treated like second-class guests at their friends’ wedding, which Pepper has organized, and they spend the whole time trying to figure out whom they may have offended.
Phil has a new client who happens to be "his type," and knowing that might get him in trouble with Claire, he tells some seemingly innocent lies, which then lead to more, and soon enough he's in a full spiral. Meanwhile, Gloria suspects her yoga instructor has the hots for her and asks Claire to come with her to class, but the instructor ends up giving Claire a lot of inappropriate attention, and she likes it. Now that Jay is retired, he is filling up his time producing his own webcast, “Jay Talking”, but becomes obsessed with tracking down a hateful troll who is posting nasty comments. And Mitch and Cam try to teach a skittish Lily how to ride a bike by leading by example.
Phil has the crazy idea of going on a spontaneous trip to Paris with Claire; the only problem is that they are both so ridiculously tired, but they try to push through it. Meanwhile, Jay has taken over their bathroom remodel, which proves to be pretty hazardous for Gloria, Manny and Joe. Cam's sister Pam is staying at the house since her husband left her, but her emotional outbursts are driving Mitchell crazy. And Haley and Andy go on a wild night bender.
Manny and Luke are in charge of babysitting Lily and Joe so that the adults can enjoy a day to themselves. Claire and Gloria have a lovely trip to the spa planned; Phil and Mitch nerd out at the movies; and Jay and Cam go to a sports bar to watch the big fight. Unfortunately, things begin to go awry when the fire alarm goes off back at the house, and Claire becomes convinced the boys are secretly throwing a party.
Claire brings home a stray dog and gets the kids to help her hide it from Phil while she tries to find its owner. Unfortunately, her evasive behavior only makes Phil try even harder to shower her with more attention. Elsewhere, Gloria invites a new couple over even after Jay has made it clear he doesn't want to make any new friends, but when the husband turns out to be a real guy's guy, Jay might be eating crow. And Cameron rents out their upstairs apartment to a Christian rock band.
With Closet-Con right around the corner, Claire is on high alert and convinced there is a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil goes vigilante when he and Gloria accuse Auntie Alice of stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe how to do some manly handy work. And with prom coming up, Mitch helps Luke with his "promposal" while Cam helps with Manny's, but Cam goes a little overboard, revealing that there may be something deeper going on.
Dede is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that Dede has moved on for good, but his overenthusiasm might come back to bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cam geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy, Gloria gets stuck in coach, and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself.
Claire can’t seem to find the right time to fire one of her employees, while, back at home, Phil thinks he caught Luke with a girl in his bed, and no one seems to notice that Alex has moved back home for the summer. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to re-enter the workforce than he thought. And Cam and Mitch butt heads on how to split their time with Lily now that Cam has taken a summer job in Kansas City.